As you all know my handsome hubby and I managed to squeeze in a little holiday this past week to Vancouver Island, British Columbia. What you may or may not know is that for 5.5 years we actually lived there. My daughter was born in Campbell River and both my boys started school in Sayward.
I miss it so much there it hurts sometimes. I miss the smells, the air, the scenery ( not that I don't love the scenery here it is just different there) I guess I should say that I miss the green as well. Any of you that has experienced island life will understand that statement.
I have a sister and her husband that still live on the island as does her son and her daughter and her family. We also have some amazing friends on the island. Friends that both my handsome hubby and I share. Here it is more my friends and his co-workers.
I went to a fantastic church there. My daughter was dedicated at it. I joined that particular church ( the only one that I have ever joined). I had a great Christian support group there.
We left for one thing mainly and that was in search of enough money that we could support ourselves. We were a family of five and were not making enough for a family of one.
Now my husband has a great job, we have more than sufficient funds and I am lonely.
I have some networks of people that I know, mostly sporting/dance parents or old work acquaintances. I attend an amazing, wonderful, soul satisfying church. However I only have a very small handful of friends.
I have a couple great amazing fellow Christians women that I am friends with and then I have a few fantastic non-Christian women that I am friends with.
However I tend to hold back from them all. None of them know all about me. I am scared to become to close. I tend to hold back just a little.
My Christian friends do not see the crazy adventurous side of me and the non-Christian know nothing about the Christian side of me. I tell them yes that I am Christian, they know how much it means to me. I plan other events around church and church activities but of course we are not able to connect on that level.
You, my blogger friends whom I have never even met know more about me than they do. You understand my burning desire to know more about his Word. To become a better parent and build a deeper connection with my children. You know my struggles and my triumphs through home schooling. You also know that I love to be a bit adventurous. That I love to quad, sled and camp. That I tend to do the jumps and attempt some tricks with my outdoor vehicles. You also know how much I love to photograph.
So why do I have such a hard time sharing with my 'friends'? What exactly am I scared off?
Wow this is quite an in depth look into myself this week.
Hope I haven't scared you off.
I am linking up this week with Sharla at The chaos and the clutter for this weeks Truth Tuesday.
I could have written most of this myself as I can relate so much. My non-Christian friends see one side of me, my Christian friends another, and I think the most well rounded picture is given to the people who read my blog!
ReplyDeleteWe used to live on Vancouver Island too, first in Nanaimo and then in Victoria. Though we officially moved because one of our sons was sick and we needed to be near family to help care for our other son, it was so expensive to live there that there was a time where we could not buy milk for our two year old. We were getting further and further behind with no end in sight.
There is no way that we would have been able to adopt and have a large family if we had stayed there, but oh my...the green, the beaches, the beautiful walks!
Thanks for linking up to Truth Tuesdays!
Wow Sharla are we in sync today. I felt the same when I read your post. It was very hard pressing publish on this one. Sometimes it is hard to be vulnerable.
ReplyDeleteI grew up on the island and left for greener pastures. I watch my family who do live there and see how they struggle. However, while I on the island I did not have faith. It wasn't until I moved to the prairies and was free of all that was hindering me was God able to work in me.
ReplyDeleteI know the struggles of moving and making friends when we moved to Saskatchewan 4 years ago. It took me 3 years to build up those relationships that were so vital and not with church friends, but with community women who were also believers. Now that we have moved back to Alberta, I am struggling with no support. I have my renew church, but don't have close committed relationships with them. I do have a sense that God is working in me at this time to trust Him more. Just be real with Him and He will work it out for the good.
Michelle I feel God working in me big time right now. I was born and raised in Saskatchewan. Moved to the island after hubby and I had married and my middle child was 6 months old. We left the prairies for ironically the same reason we left the island, work. At the time it there was a huge recession on here and it was very hard for my hubby to find work. At the time we left the prairies, although I was a Christian I did not have a close relationship with him at that time. While I was on the island that is when my relationship grew again.
ReplyDeleteWhen we left the island many things happened to my relationship with my family and I fell away again. But God was with the whole time. He introduced me to a great lady that introduced me to the church that I now attend and love.
The past 7 years I have grown a lot. I must admit shamefully that I tend to want to take control and thank goodness God stays with me and keeps showing my His Grace in my moments of weakness.
Going back to the island is not an option for us. I just miss it a lot sometimes. I miss the relationships I had there.
I know God is working in me but I have to also admit I am impatient. I tend to not like to wait to see where things are heading. (even though I know I am so much better off when I do).
Thank you for taking time to share with me.
I hope that you are able to find the support that is essential in your new surroundings.