Monday, 31 December 2012

Starting fresh for 2013

Loved the reflection of the light off of the new mirror.

There is something about this time of year that always brings fresh hope.
Hope that this coming year will be better.
Hope that I have learned from my lessons in the past year.
Hope that I can just simply be better.

This past few weeks have been interesting to say the least.
December was hard for me in many ways.
We were supposed to have our home visit and that was going to really kick off the foster to adopt front. When that got postponed as hard as I tried to not let it affect me it did.
I went into a funk and had a terrible time trying to climb out of it.
I was snippy with my hubby and my kids.
I didn't want to be around anyone.
I barely did my bible studies.
Basically overall I let Satan win.

The last few days have been a time of severe reflection for me.
2012 was a year of huge change.
Hubby changed his job and as of it we still don't know if it is the right spot for him.
We changed our income. (Although unfortunately the bills did not change. :( )
We made the huge step forward in the foster to adopt front. We told our families and received interesting feedback.
I made some huge changes in my faith.

However no matter how much I have changed I still keep falling back into the old patterns.
I tend to slip into a huge funk. To borrow a phrase from one of my amazing blog friends. "I am a huge hot mess".
This week I decided I like that. Because only through that will I constantly be needing Him. Only through hitting rock bottom will I find Him there.

So for 2013 I decided to reflect and make a goal word for the year.

Do you like?? lol

I plan to be more diligent on many fronts.
On parenting!
On being the wife my amazing hubby deserves.
On housecleaning.
On making sure we manage our budget and pay down our debt.
On staying faithful and working hard on my bible studies. (I know I need to grow so much more)
On remembering that I am a hot mess. Everyone stumbles and no matter what HE is always there for me.

What are you plans for 2013?  Do you have a word that you want to focus on this year?

Saturday, 29 December 2012

Merry Christmas!

Yep that's right I am alive!
I turned on my computer tonight for the first time in a few weeks.
I have been absent so much I think people were getting prepared to send a search party.
To be honest, I have been right here.
I have been busy, but also I have been lazy daisy too.

Yesterday I took down all our Christmas decorations. This is a first for me. I usually take them down on the 1st of January and then I am really sad about it. This year I couldn't wait to get them down and put away.
I think mostly because of the loss of control I felt with them up. I wasn't enjoying them the way I normally do. Now don't get me wrong. I had a pretty darn good Christmas. Hubby as usual was amazing as well as I was thoroughly spoiled. However this year something was off. I think for a good chunk it was stress. Hubby and I had an awesome talk a few days before Christmas. Alright talk might have been an exaggeration  I fell of my mental tight rope and he picked me up, dusted me off and put me back on again. I knew I had married a great man. :)

I had such plans for December and it didn't go the way I wanted.
I felt loss of control and it put me in a funk.
After cleaning up the Christmas decorations and today we hauled the trees to the dump and cleaned up outside it really helped. Again I would be at a loss without that man I married.

However something still wasn't right. Not until this evening. Tonight hubby went to town to have coffee with a friend of his and I decided to stay home. As soon as he walked out the door I knew what I needed to do. I needed to pull out my bible study that I had been missing all week. I had been doing it up until Monday, but this week it got pushed by the wayside.

When I read those words in James 3 I knew. I knew that was my problem. I was relying on myself again. I needed to rely on HIM. Only through Him can I managed anything and everything.
Now James 3 (in the beginning of this chapter) is talking about our tongue and what poison it can be. However it also said something profound to me in verse 2:  'we all stumble in many ways...' 
Man I needed to read that. I am not perfect. This I already knew, but why am I so hard on myself because I am not. Only HE is perfect.

I tend to put too much on my own shoulders thinking that I need to carry it all. I need to take the burdens from my husband and my children and carry them. What I really need to do is take them and then lay them at HIS feet.

HIS grace will carry me. HIS grace will hold me up. HIS grace will be there when I need it most.

I am so happy that I decided to open my bible tonight and focus on HIM once again.

I am so happy that HE has blessed me in so many ways.

I am so happy that HE has helped remind me what is important.

I may will stumble, but I know that HE is right there helping me up.

Hi everyone I am back. :)

Saturday, 1 December 2012

Another month bites the dust....

I can hardly believe that it is the first of December. I have no idea where this year went. I pretty much chill axed this week. (Code for being lazy. :) )
November goals:
1. Totally and completely clean my kitchen. The walls need washed, the cupboards need cleaned out and sorted through. I have 2 pantry cupboards in the hallway that I want to condense down into one. Oh yea and the ceiling needs washed as well. LOL

Finished. Just need to maintain. Hubby even fixed the one pantry cupboard in the hallway so that we can have food in there again. I just need to get a couple of child proof locks.

2. I would love to get all or at least most of my Christmas shopping/making down this month. I have some gifts I am making and I really want to get all the other stuff bought. I would love to focus on the meaning behind the holiday during the month of December. I know I probably will not get my baking done and I am totally ok with that. Something for Sarah and I to bond closer with in December. :)

Well the sewing machine and I had a date yesterday and I was able to sew 4 gifts. I still have 3 to go, but those will work up really fast. I would say I am about 85% done. I still need to wrap everything but man does it feel good to be this close to finished. I will also carry this one on to next month for obvious reasons. LOL

3. Our spare room. This needs cleaned out in the worst way. This will be the room that our foster children go into and possibly our future children. (SQUEAL) I really want to get this done by December 1rst so that hopefully we can get our home inspection started then. Fingers crossed.

Nope not done. :( I will be carrying this over to next month. Although I went in  there today and managed to get quite a bit emptied out. However we still have a long way to go and somehow somewhere I need to find a place to store all the stuff that was in that room. :(

I thought I would also post my December goals on here today as well being that it is the first of December.

1. Have Christmas presents all bought, wrapped and ready to go by the middle of the month. 
Since I am almost done this one should be pretty easy.

2. Have the house ready for the inspection by next Friday. 
OK this one I am being a bit lenient on. If I don't get a good chunk of it done by Monday then I am going to call and reschedule the first appointment. I would rather have the checklist that they gave us done so that they possibly won't have to make another trip. I realize that means that I will be pushing back everything so I am hoping to work hard this week at getting it done.

3. Enjoy December for what it is: The birth month of Christ.
This means that I plan to try and relax most of the month. Do some baking. Spend tons of quality time with Sarah and just enjoying life before we get crazy busy again. I also want to spend some time just Sarah and I being lazy, bonding. I realize there is a very good chance that soon she will have more children in the house and I want her to know that we love her just as much as we ever have.

4. I am throwing a 4th one in,but it is an easy one as well. Make sure the house is kept clean as we are hosting Christmas and I don't want to have a mad rush the week before trying to get everything ready.

That's it. 
Tonight is Rob's Christmas party so I have to run and get ready. I also want to do some more sorting of all our scrapbooking/craft supplies. They all need to find another safe home. :)

I am linking up today with Aurie. Oh and by the way I promise I will take pics and show you the room if we manage to get finished in time. :)