Merry Christmas!

Yep that's right I am alive!
I turned on my computer tonight for the first time in a few weeks.
I have been absent so much I think people were getting prepared to send a search party.
To be honest, I have been right here.
I have been busy, but also I have been lazy daisy too.

Yesterday I took down all our Christmas decorations. This is a first for me. I usually take them down on the 1st of January and then I am really sad about it. This year I couldn't wait to get them down and put away.
I think mostly because of the loss of control I felt with them up. I wasn't enjoying them the way I normally do. Now don't get me wrong. I had a pretty darn good Christmas. Hubby as usual was amazing as well as I was thoroughly spoiled. However this year something was off. I think for a good chunk it was stress. Hubby and I had an awesome talk a few days before Christmas. Alright talk might have been an exaggeration  I fell of my mental tight rope and he picked me up, dusted me off and put me back on again. I knew I had married a great man. :)

I had such plans for December and it didn't go the way I wanted.
I felt loss of control and it put me in a funk.
After cleaning up the Christmas decorations and today we hauled the trees to the dump and cleaned up outside it really helped. Again I would be at a loss without that man I married.

However something still wasn't right. Not until this evening. Tonight hubby went to town to have coffee with a friend of his and I decided to stay home. As soon as he walked out the door I knew what I needed to do. I needed to pull out my bible study that I had been missing all week. I had been doing it up until Monday, but this week it got pushed by the wayside.

When I read those words in James 3 I knew. I knew that was my problem. I was relying on myself again. I needed to rely on HIM. Only through Him can I managed anything and everything.
Now James 3 (in the beginning of this chapter) is talking about our tongue and what poison it can be. However it also said something profound to me in verse 2:  'we all stumble in many ways...' 
Man I needed to read that. I am not perfect. This I already knew, but why am I so hard on myself because I am not. Only HE is perfect.

I tend to put too much on my own shoulders thinking that I need to carry it all. I need to take the burdens from my husband and my children and carry them. What I really need to do is take them and then lay them at HIS feet.

HIS grace will carry me. HIS grace will hold me up. HIS grace will be there when I need it most.

I am so happy that I decided to open my bible tonight and focus on HIM once again.

I am so happy that HE has blessed me in so many ways.

I am so happy that HE has helped remind me what is important.

I may will stumble, but I know that HE is right there helping me up.

Hi everyone I am back. :)