Today is our son's 21rst birthday. The night he came into the world was very similar to what the weather today was like. Cold, blowy and snowy. In fact the night before hubby and I went to go get some clothes from our house (we were staying at my sister's in town) and we had to go 4x4ing in the snow as we got stuck. Anyway I digress. Our healthy boy came into the world at exactly 2:32 am weighing in at 8lbs 7.5 oz.
He is now far from that weight. LOL We have had many ups and downs in our raising of this wonderful young man. Mostly during his teen years. We learned that he has some learning challenges and was diagnosed with ADD. However when I look at the man he has become I can not help but be filled with pride.
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| This picture of my boys was taken this past August. Matthew is the one with the sunglasses on his head. |
So with all this wonderfulness of today you would think that I would be euphoric. I am sorta. It feels weird. He is spending the day with his girlfriend. Which is awesome. She is a really nice young lady and both Rob and I like her. However for the first time I will not see him on his birthday. My baby is growing into a man. I am not sure when that happened. What was I busy doing?? His girlfriend said the smallest innocent thing on Sunday. She told me she was baking him a cake. That should not mean much right? Except to me it did. It meant that he no longer is in need of me to do that for him. I now officially know what my Mother in law feels like. It kinda stings. I am really really happy for him. But for a moment I am taking a bit of time to weep for the boy we no longer have, even while I rejoice over the man that with God's help we raised.
Then to add a bit to my melancholy to day, I received news this morning that we didn't make the deadline to go to our foster to adopt parenting course this weekend. The next one is not until February. I am sad. I wanted to get this process on the road. Although I know this isn't the worst thing, it just feels like such a delay. Oh well not much we can do about it. In the mean time we will be busy getting all our paperwork done and our house ready so we can start with the home inspection process. That could take up to two months anyway so really if we have everything done by the parenting course we could still be on time for Feb/March possibly receiving some children.
So I guess it all boils down to asking for prayer. I am feeling a little weird during this season in my life.
Thank you so much.
Hi Sherri, I don't have a child yet but I do understand how you feel. He's indeed a grown up man now. You might feel "replaced" by the girlfriend, but there will always be a space in a child's heart that only a mother could fill. I bet your son knows and feels that, too. Just be proud that you were able to raise a good man! Happy birthday to him and congratulations to you! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Lea. It is such a weird season. One step at a time right? :)
Delete{{hugs}} girl! I can't imagine my girls getting to be that age, but I know it will happen sooner than I want! sweet memories in this post :)
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing how fast it goes Aurie. Being a mom is the best thing I could have ever done.
DeleteBig hugs Sherri. I can imagine all the times we as moms have to let go of their hands and let them go into the world. I hate it just as much as you probably do too. I was watching Grey's Anatomy last week and one of the characters was upset because her little guy let go of her hand and went to kindergarten without a fuss. Another character said "you have your hand back". You now have her hand back to do a new mission for God. Something He will lead you too.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny Michelle, when I was watching it I was thinking how much I loved that analogy. I just never applied it to my life. Thank you for helping me remember that.
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