Becoming a Mom

With Mother's Day this past Sunday I have been doing a lot of thinking not only on my own Mom but also on being a Mom.
23 years ago I celebrated Mother's Day for the first time. My handsome hubby and I had given birth to a beautiful baby boy 7 months before that and I was thrilled (although extremely exhausted and slightly stressed) to be his momma.

You see, I didn't become a mommy the way I thought I was going to. It didn't quite happen as planned. I met Rob (aka my handsome hubby) in March of 1990. We hit it off pretty much immediately and soon became inseparable. Two months later he moved 6+ hours away for work. We stayed in touch via phone calls (no cell phones WAY back then. LOL). We continued to grow closer and about 6 weeks later he proposed. I accepted. :) 6 weeks later I moved in with him.
Yep not quite what I had thought I would do growing up. I had assumed that I would remain 'pure' until after marriage. You know first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Sherri pushing a baby carriage. ha
Well it did kind of work that way but in a MUCH faster version.
In January I became pregnant with our son and our wedding plans sped WAY up. We were married May of 1991.
Our boy arrived in October of that same year.
That first year was crazy. Then I became pregnant with son #2 and crazy got amped up.
Five years later our beautiful daughter was born and I was a Mom to three busy young ones.

Now fast forward many many years. Our oldest is 22, our second is 20 and our baby just turned 16.
We have gone through so many seasons in life.

This past week it was said to me that it I basically thought it was a mistake that I became a Mom the way I did. You know since he was conceived out of marriage. Oh and I was 19. I actually was shocked. I never once ever did I think it was a mistake.
Unplanned...YES
Hard...YES
Exhausting...YES
Challenging...YES
Mistake...NO!!!!

Now I will quickly put this out there. I do not recommend this way of doing things to anyone. And in fact praying that my children will take a different path than we did.
However I love our 3 crazy, challenging, beautiful, talented, frustrating, complex children VERY VERY much.

I am also so thankful and grateful for a God that forgives.
That forgave me for sinning this way.
That has given me forgiveness.
That has shown me grace.
That has loved on me, my handsome hubby and our 3 kiddos so much.
That has been there when things were so rough I didn't know how I was going to put one foot in front of the other.
That has been there when my boys graduated high school.
That has been there through sickness, through dis pare, through joy, through tears, through toddler years, through teenage years.
Who has never left my side.
Who has helped my and my handsome hubby be the parents we are.

I am weak.
HE IS STRONG.

So although I would never in my wildest dream thought I would become a parent this way I am just so thankful that I am blessed with these kiddos who call me Mom!!
(At least when they want something. LOL)

Bunhead

As I have been cleaning out and working more on this crazy piece of my life I stumbled across this post I wrote about this time last year. Man it really blows my mind how fast time flies.
Anyhoo although we took most of this year off (thanks to our move in the middle of the season), this post still very much applies. My girlie is an avid dancer and is missing it like crazy. We can hardly wait until fall when she can join again.


My daughter is a bun-head.
The definition of this  is basically a term used for a dancer.
If you ask my daughter if she enjoyed being a bun-head she would tell you everything but the bun. :)
If you wonder what it means...
Well that is something altogether different.
I am going to give you a peek into what it means to us.
This year Sarah is on stage in 8 different dances.
Hip hop
Ballet
Jazz
Tap
Lyrical
Lyrical Trio
Modern
Production- this is actually 3 different dances in one dance.

Getting ready.

This means that this year we have been in town for dance at least 5 days of the week, often 6. Monday usually is our day off unless we decide to go in and practice.
This is just getting ready for the competitions. She has already had her first one in which she did the 8 dances in two days. The next one is a bit better as we have 3 days and the last one is 4 days.
This also means travelling more. The first one was ours so we only had to travel into our little town. 25 minutes not bad really, (if you don't count the rain/snow storm). The next two are in Edmonton. This is a 2.5 hour drive one way. This also means now hotels and food to be bought.

Stretching for candy. Don't laugh, :) You do what you have to do. lol

Of course with all these dances it meant 10 different costumes to purchase. 10 different hairstyles to work out (we were lucky this year and 6 were very similar).
This also means make up changes (again lucky only one big change).

I am pretty strict about her costumes and accessories. I am the one to make sure all the pieces are there and everything that can be washed is and ready to go for the next competition.
I am trying hard to step back this spring and let her do it all though. For the most part I am doing an ok job. She mostly does her hair and her make up. Also her own costumes. I am just back up. :)

Her group ballet number. Obviously it was the Muppets. And equally obvious she was beaker. lol

As much as it costs me both financially and otherwise I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
There is nothing like watching your child thrive in something they are really good at.

Some days this can be a little overwhelming. Especially getting ready to go again or after we just come home and are exhausted. However we do it for one very important reason...
She loves it!!

I am so happy, so happy so happy. :)

It was a great day! I accomplished everything but one that was on my list today and even two things that were not on the list I manage to squeeze in.
My girlie and I made homemade cinnamon buns and let me say YUMMY!!! I cleaned and organized and threw tons of stuff away. Can I hear a OH YEA!! for decluttering. That has been my goal this summer. Declutter and reorganize. Hopefully I can stay motivated.

But the real reason I am so happy is...
Wait for it...
Are you ready???


I finally made contact with the social services adoption lady! She is coming out to meet us next Thursday which by the way is my middles 18th birthday! ( maybe a sign?? hahaha)
So since she was coming out I thought it was time we told our youngest our plan. I had held off telling her for awhile cause lets be honest it is awful hard to keep a secret that you might be getting new siblings and we just don't want everyone to know yet. Yes I know I am writing it on here and this is a public blog but lets face it who really reads this but my handsome hubby and he knows all this stuff already. Wow how I can ramble, anywhoooo Rob and I talked and it was agreed on that I would tell her. She was so excited. Right away she put in the order for a baby sister. I told her that it doesn't quite work that way. She really didn't seem to mind. She wanted to know if she was going to be a babysitter, I told her yes sometimes she would be. She then asked if she would get paid, I informed her no she would not be. She tried to haggle but I informed her that in this household we don't get paid to look after family.
All this makes me so happy!! It is FINALLY getting started. Someday when I have more time and energy I will write a post telling you all how we came to this decision but for now...Well you read about all I did do today right? So I am a little tired and tomorrow is Card making day for Sarah and I in town. So early morning as I want to do my devotions before we leave the house by 8:30. 
So night night everyone.

PS so happy!!!

Keeping it real.

So all in all today was a great day. My 3 in 30 seems to be going really well. I am faithfully reading my bible. Although I did discover or believe that I discovered that the B in 90days is using a condensed bible version and I am not. However my goal is not really to read the bible in 90 days but to just read the bible. This challenge is great for me because well yes I am just a tad competative. Just a wee bit. So even though no one I know is actually doing this right now I know it can be done so why can't I do it as well.

I sorted out my junk drawer in the kitchen today and reorganized it but the biggest of all is I cleaned out our build in china cabinet and made it WAY more user friendly. I am so happy about that!! Sarah and i also did some jars up so we just have to add the wet ingrediants to the bread maker, dump in a jar of powder and voila Bob's your uncle. We also made up a jar of apple cinnamon pancakes. Although I do not care for pancakes myself I know my family does so I decided to switch it up a bit and see what they thought. Maybe next weekend.

So like I said before I am keeping it real.
I was reading a wonderful ladies blog today actually it is one of the first blogs I started reading and she talked about struggles with daily activites, such as house cleaning, not wanting to scream at her children, etc, all while being a Christian and feeling like somehow we should be better than that.

So here I go, although today was great in that I was in a fantastic mood and was really appreciating my family I thought about my children, more specifically my middle.
I love that boy so much. He is so kind hearted, generous, loving, an amazing sense of humour with an uncanny ability to make everyone laugh and yet we struggle. He moved out very shortly after he graduated this year. I truely believe that he just wanted to be away from the rules that I set up here. We don't believe in having parties, especially underaged drinking parties. We don't enjoy overnighters after a certain age. That seems to me like it just screams trouble. We always enforced a bedtime even up through grade 12. So I really believe for him it was too constricting. Now all being said I am thrilled that he is growing up. I am excited for him, truely! I am just so worried about the path that he is on. I know I just have to trust God that it will all work out I still want to have him under my control again so that I can protect him. Oh the joys of motherhood. HAHAHA. I know that when he sorts things out he is capable of amazing things and I can not wait to see them happen.
Oh LORD give me patience and please protect my little boy!
Oh how I love that boy/man.

Parade, Kids day and 3 in 30

Wow what a day. Get us rush around like a mad person cleaning the fridge and taking the garbage to the curb, then quick shower, then hurry get ready and head out the door to take my girlie to town so she can be in the parade. Can you say slept in? Oops. Well in my defense I just couldn't sleep last night. Lots of tossing and turning not to mention as I said it was 1 before I even got to bed. So Oops again.

However...I got to see my baby in the parade again. This is such a cool experiance getting to see her do that. I waited and waited and then pow she was in front of me and then vroom she was gone. Oh well there is always next year and I did manage to take some pics. :)

On another great note I met with the homeschool register and we are off to town tomorrow again so Sarah can meet with her and we can possibly get her signed up and started. I am so excited about that. I think Sarah has her moments but I believe that there is more good moments than bad ones so I am happy about it.

Then I was reading some blogs today and I stumbed across Lynnette from http://lynnettekraft.com/ and she talked about having a kids day, and I thought what a fantastic idea. I mean we do lots of fun stuff with our children but not ever an entire day just devoted to them so I am going to talk to Rob and see if we can do this come fall. I think once things settle down again it would be a great opportunity to get together and just celebrate them and their lifes. I have 3 blessings here on earth and 3 in heaven waiting for me to mother them when I get there. But for now I want to be the best Mom I can be for my beautiful ones here. So thank you Lynnette for the fantastic idea.

Plus in my blog reading journeys I have come accross the 3 in 30 and I really want to try that for August so now I just have to decide exactly what my first 3 are going to be. I hope to do this every month. Small baby steps first. I know one for sure is going to be about me being more open with my faith and try and let God lead me without me thinking I might know better. So stay tuned.

Well that is all for now, I came closer to finishing my laundry today but not quite so have to finish that off tomorrow but a few more tidying up. So until then.

Night Night.

My baby is home!!

WhooHoooo!! My baby is home. After a very long and emotional 6 days she is back home. And passed out before 930. Poor girl is so wiped out. She had such a busy 6 days with +35 temps and dancing everyday plus all the other extras included. By last night she was sick. I think some of it was just she was so homesick, but I think the majority of it was plain exhaustion. Her poor body was saying enough is enough think about me. She was so happy to be home but I think even more happy to be in her own bed tonight. Heres hoping she has a great nights sleep.

I have been spending more and more time reading different blogs and less and less time on facebook. I am finding out some really useful information. I never even thought of some of the stuff like homemade laundry soap, or that other parents would write about their homeschooling experiances. I must say it has really opened my eyes. I wish I actually some of these people lived close by me so we could meet but reading their blogs and getting to know some info that way is the next best thing. Besides honestly I am really shy.

Well should get to bed now. Back to the normal grind tomorrow of having Sarah home and work on her review of grade 7. Hopefully she is open to hitting the books once again. We are also off to town tomorrow to get her hair done and hopefully make a trip to the library. Partly for her to pick out some books for summer reading and some for me to learn more about homeschooling and faith wrapped in one.

So for now night night.

My baby is coming home tomorrow!

I am so excited. My baby is coming home! Sarah was in L.A. on a dance trip for the past 6 days. Although we have spend more time apart (7days lol ) this time was particulary rough. I am not sure if it is because of everything else going on in my life but I really missed my baby. We have spent alot of time together this last year what with running so much to dance so it seems weird not to have her here all the time. We have decided to try home schooling in the fall and as much as I am nervous about it, I am also very excited about it. Here is a chance to spend time with her, bond with her and help her learn. Get her excited about her education while also maintaining the crazy lifestyle of dance and youth and church related activities.

 It should be a very interesting year with it being just her and  I for the most part with Rob home every other week. My life is changing so fast I can barely keep up.

Now to some more exciting news, I talked with my hubby last night and looks like I will be making some phone calls in the morning to talk to an adoption worker and get the ball rolling. Look like I will be losing my craft room again. :)

I also am getting pumped up about spending some time with just Rob and I next week. We are sorely needing it. With everything that has been going on lately around here and his work stresses not to mention when he gets home he will have been in camp for 19 days, we have been putting each other on the back burner and now it is time for us again. I miss him so much and am very much looking forward to some us time.

Well i guess I should be running off to bed now as am going up to the city to pick up my baby in the afternoon.
Night ya all.

Busy, busy, busy.

Its amazing how much work one can accomplish when they don't have to run to dance, get ready for Grad, help more their son out on his own, attend yet another funeral or just basically run, run, run.

Yes this past month was pretty crazy but this past week was by far the most emotional.

I had the joy of watching my second son graduate 10 days ago. Although it made me so extremely proud to see that he accomplished this, it also made me sad. We have not always seen eye to eye. In fact more often that not we do not. We have fought, struggled, cried and just basically did anything we could to survive for him to graduate. Now don't get me wrong we both love each other immensely. And in fact I think some of the reasons we butted heads is because we are alot alike. Now fast forward one week and he moves out. He is my first child to do so and I am finding it so weird. The house seems so different so empty even though really I am only down one child. He always makes me laugh and we are often on the same page without hardly saying a word. It is strange that it has only been two days and already I miss him like crazy.

Sooooooo..... to keep myself sane...oh did I mention that my youngest is gone to L.A. for 6 days right now for dance? Sooo.... to keep myself sane I have been cleaning. Some would call it spring cleaning although that doesn't seem right since it is almost the middle of July. I have cleaned out Brandon's old room and made a craft room for me. (something I have always wanted). I have cleaned out our front porch, I moved all the furniture in the living room and dining room and cleaned out all the dust bunnies. I cleaned out pantry cupboards, I have done lots of baking (which I love by the way), I am just trying not to go to crazy and miss my kids like nuts. Thank goodness during this time Matt is still living at home. Did I mention he plans to move out by the end of summer. Welcome to my crazy life.

Now on a side note. I just want to mention that I have an amazing husband whom I am so thankful for. He gives up so much to provide us with a roof over our heads and food on our table. Also the ability for our kids to play sports, dance and travel for all those activities. He means so much to me and I would rather spend time with him than anyone else. So too my hubby...Thank you!!!! I love you soo much angel!